The Least of Expectations?

It's been an excruciating boring Sunday I might add. But I had long hours spent alone to sit, think and picture everything on the past and present and future. Not the most joyable thing to do but I guess sometimes when we actually do solemn to ourselves at a point in our life, it is rather amazing to see how things evolves.

I've been torturing myself, mentally. For this past months, I've gone through so many unexpected events. Not knowing how the future might be. I struggled to a point of breakdown and losing insanity. Falling sick every week, and even starve myself because I had lost every inch of appetite. It's crazy to be in this alone and come to think of it, I wasn't struggling alone, I was indirectly and uncautiously making those who were by my side to struggle along with me.

Did I change in a way or other? Or have I just gone bad to worse?

I quit clubbing. Quit drinking. And I'm trying to quit smoking as well. Quit modeling. Quit photoshoots. Quit freelance jobs. I practically quit what I did in my past.

I even threw my skimpy clothings during my modeling days. I'm learning to dress more decent. Less makeup.

Am I trying to be a better person? Portray a better image? I want to be better. That's for sure. But I'm beginning to realize, I'm getting quieter by the day.

But all I want is to be happy.

And I know, happiness come when we least expect it to happen.

And thanks to YOU, I know where I am. And know that I'm building every inch of bricks back.